Friday, July 31, 2009

updates for today

It wasn't so bad , I had a lovely time playing with the kids at the pool. A bit tired but I enjoyed the company so well, with Anne and David. But for the past days, I have difficulty dealing with Sarah (my elderly person that i looked after). She had a terrible moods and most of the time I can't bear not to answer her a single word especially if she discriminated me and the country where I from (Philippines) When she got angry with her daughter I'm the one who suffer her anguish. And it takes time before she get over it. This is the part of the job unlike in the Philippines, I have a career there when I left but now I don't know if I could find a job when I came back. So sad , and so frustrating. But then, I still think positive , I'm not given up so quicky.

Monday, July 27, 2009

The Power Of Secret

The First Secret -- The Power Of Thought... Love begins with our thoughts. We become what we think. Loving thoughts create loving experiences and loving relationships. Affirmations can change our beliefs and thoughts about ourselves and others. If we want to love someone, we need to consider their needs and desires. Thinking about your ideal partner will help you recognize him or her when you meet.

The Second Secret -- The Power Of Respect... You cannot love anyone or anything unless you first respect them. The first person you need to respect is yourself. To begin to gain self-respect ask yourself, "What do I respect about myself?" To gain respect for others, even those you may dislike, ask yourself, "What do I respect about them?"

The Third Secret -- The Power Of Giving... If you want to receive love, all you have to do is give it! The more love you give, the more you will receive. To love is to give of yourself, freely and unconditionally. Practice random acts of kindness. Before committing to a relationship ask not what the other person will be able to give to you, but rather ask what will you be able to give them. The secret formula of a happy, life long relationship is to always focus on what you can give instead of what you can take.

The Fourth Secret -- The Power Of Friendship... To find true love, you must first find a true friend. Love does not consist of gazing into each other's eyes, but rather looking outward together in the same direction. To love someone completely you must love them for who they are, not what they look like. Friendship is the soil through which love's seeds grow. If you want to bring love into friendship, you must first bring friendship.

The Fifth Secret -- The Power Of Touch... Touch is one of the most powerful expressions of love, breaking down barriers and bonding relationships. Touch changes our physical and emotional states and makes us more receptive to love.

The Sixth Secret -- The Power Of Letting Go... If you love something, let it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours, if not it never was. Even in a loving relationship, people need their space. If we want to learn to love, we must first learn to forgive and let go of past hurts, and grievances. Love means letting go of our fears, prejudices, egos and conditions. "Today I let go of all my fears, the past has no power over me - today is the beginning of a new life."

The Seventh Secret -- The Power Of Communication... When we learn to communicate openly and honestly, life changes. To love someone is to communicate with them. Let the people you love know that you love them and appreciate them. Never be afraid to say those three magic words: *I Love You* Never let an opportunity pass to praise someone. Always leave someone you love with a loving word - it could be the last time you see them. If you were about to die but could make telephone calls to people you loved, who would you call, what would you say...and why are you waiting?

The Eighth Secret -- The Power Of Commitment... If you want to have love in abundance, you must be committed to it, and that commitment will be reflected in your thoughts and actions. Commitment is the true test of love. If you want to have a loving relationships, you must be committed to loving relationships. When you are committed to someone or something, quitting is never an option. Commitment distinguishes a fragile relationship from a strong one.

The Ninth Secret -- The Power Of Passion... Passion ignites love and keeps it alive. Lasting passion does not come through physical attraction alone, it comes from deep commitment, enthusiasm, interest and excitement. Passion can be recreating past experiences when you felt passion. Spontaneity and surprises produce passion. The essence of love and happiness are the same, all we need to do is to live each day with passion.

The Tenth Secret -- The Power Of Trust... Trust is essential in all loving relationships. Without it one person becomes suspicious, anxious and fearful and the other person feels trapped and emotionally suffocated. You cannot love someone completely unless you trust them completely. Act as if your relationship with the person you love will never end. One of the ways you can tell whether a person is right for you is to ask yourself, "Do I trust completely and unreservedly?" If the answer is "no", think carefully before making a commitment.

Sunday, July 26, 2009

Common sense is not a common thing

This is the happy times when we were together!

For 31 years of existence in this crazy world, I've learned and experienced a lot of things in life.

Before I went abroad 6 years ago I thought life was like that. Pains, hard work, and happiness. Yes, it was but the more I get older, the more I understand what life is.?I meet different people, different views, different characteristics, different lives, stories etc...That's gives me an idea and aware of the things I encountered everyday in my existence. As I understood, back at my very young age, (17 years old)life was very shallow. It has a deeper meaning.

I meet a friend which is 4 years older than me, back in the Philippines she was an English/History Professor. She is smart, a good speaker, and intelligent. I adored her so much in that way. We've been living in together for about 2 years and since I left my previous job we communicated and meet once in a while. We been good friends and I knew her secret as she shared it to me. When she was teaching in the Philippines, she had a text mate which is 12 or 13 years older that her. The relationship went on so well. But she was well aware that the man is married and just filed a legal separation. Before she left to worked here in Israel, she meet the man in person and shared things which she never expected to happen. They both fall in love each other. She knew that the man couldn't bear a child because he has a sperm problem. They communicated and shared their love through the Internets and phone. As the year comes by, they still got the love they said, but she was confused of some things at the same time she was afraid to break his heart. She has a lot of friends that surrounds her. As far as I remember di kami nagkulang ng advices. It's all up to her to take it. We always reminder her that she was young and smart and she could find better than him. But she was stubborn. For 6 years working here, she decided to marry that man, and lied everything to the people that surround her especially to her family. But before that she adopted a child and that man looking after the baby. And here in Israel besides us, she meet a person (man) and treated her as a best friend. She felt in love to that man and started to confused things. But wala pa din ikalito kasi married din yong lalaki.... For her , the solution is to go home and marry that fellow in the Philippines.

She went home for a month vacation. And show to the people that she got married to the fellow she brought to her hometown. She had a small wedding celebration and the family had no idea that the man she got into was married and have no permission to get marry again. She showed some fake documents to her parents and to her brother but unfortunately when she's back here her pastoral brother was bound to know the truth through the paper that she left there. When she's here as I mention earlier she was involved with a married man whom she thought a best friend, a confidante who took advantage with her. She fell in love with that man and got her pregnant. Me and most of her friends mad at her. She didn't know what she is doing with her life. She's illegal now , pregnant but she is still continuing her romance to that married fellow and also supporting the fake husband in the Philippines with the adopted child. I have pity with her but as a friend and I think not only me are not lack giving her advices before she get into that trouble but she didn't listen. After all , what the damaged she's been done or doing now is her responsibility. She is responsible of the consequences. She is smart , intelligent woman but she didn't use her common sense.

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Evaluating myself and my relationship

I keep thinking where I gone wrong? All I know I tried to give the best I can but it seems it's not enough for him. Perhaps, something wrong with me or because we are miles away from each other. Sometimes he felt that I am unreachable, I am too strong which in fact I have nothing to show off. With the experiences I had I grew to handle relationship. I listen and take advices and applied it to my self.

When I was 28 years old, I had also a long distance relationship. He was working as a sailor, so we only talked once in a month or 45 days. It was hard for me but the relationship last almost 2 years then suddenly he was gone. All I've heard that he was married. I am certainly sure that we are not meant to be after all.

I left home when I was 13 years old and stand with my own and makes decision. I don't know of being so independent at a very young age is helpful? I became so though, domineering and a bossy character. I don't want to be like this but I grew up like with nobody I can count on , only myself. I don't even know who's to blame. Can I blame my parents? No idea.

Perhaps, looking for a partner it's very hard for me. Hard to adjust everything that I used to do and make. They said, in a relationship, "you have to give more , more than you receive" and it's not my cup of tea. But on the other hand I want somebody who cares, make decision, support and comfort me. I want them to pamper me because which I never get when I was a child/teenager..

Monday, July 13, 2009

headache-from emotional stress

Since yesterday, i got a terrible headache and I thought,lack of sleep was the main reason. But probably, the weather also one of the cause because it is very hot. Taking medicine is my worse enemy but I can't cope the pain (aching)so I decided to take paracetamol this morning. that helps me a lot. Emotional stress also the reason why people having headache I supposed. Me, I'm not overwork physically but the I am emotionally stress. Being with the elderly person for almost 16 hours a day is tiring. Well, that's the kind of job I got. I prefer to look after Alzheimer's patient rather than a mobile person, who is able to walk and talk as a normal people. It's difficult to manage. I am emotionally stress because I could feel what they felt and sometimes I am worried and the anger is there. I usually take a deep breath and get out from the room and avoid them sometimes.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

oh so hot, it's summer

We are in the middle of July and the heat of the sun is very hot , burning and the humidity is high. You couldn't even get your hair straight. I have a curly hair and I hate it curls all the time. So what I did, every friday if i'm not going to the hairdresser to have it straightened I do it by myself but because the humidity is high my hair comes back what it was.

Here are hair tips that we could apply:

Learn to survive through your hair problems with our simple hair care tips. Keeping things simple and learning the basics will give you a head start when it comes to dealing with troubled hair. Weather conditions can have severe impact on your hair.

The rising temperature is not a good news for your tresses. Heat can sap your hair of its natural oils and dehydrate your mane. The harsh sun rays can penetrate deep inside your hair shaft and damage your delicate tresses. Here, are some tips to sail through this hot humid weather.

1) Make the most of your natural hair texture and go natural. Skip the regular styling regime, instead, let yourself loose. Though you will be lured into straightening your hair with flat irons, we suggest you go all natural. Use the bad weather excuse to ditch the heated appliances.

2) Invest in a sun umbrella, buy the dome shaped one since it won’t blow inside out in the breeze. Avoid wearing scarves because they can flatten your hair. Once the root is flattened, it will be difficult to bring back the volume. You might again need your hairdryer.

3) Always use an anti-frizz styling product on damp hair. keep a hair serum handy when you are out in the sun. You never know, when it may come handy.

4) Dry hair will frizz out more easily, so invest some time and money in deep conditioning treatments.

5) Try the latest in hairstyling, the Permanent Blow Dry. Yes, this miracle treatment lasts for around 4 months and is the most gentle of all the straightening methods. Infact, it infuses proteins in your hair and protects it from the weather conditions. You can get rid of everyday styling, this is a boon for working women. If you are the one, who is always on the go then permanent blow dry is the answer for all your bad hair days. You will no more have to deal with unruly and difficult to manage hair.

Source :

Friday, July 10, 2009


A water bearer in China had two large pots, each hung on the ends of a pole which he carried across her neck. One of the pots had a crack in it while the other pot was perfect ans always delivered a full portion of water. At the end of the long walk from the stream to the house , the cracked pot arrived only half full. For a full two years this went daily, the bearer delivering only one and a half pots of water to his house. of course, the perfect pot was ashamed of its own imperfection, and miserable that it was able to accomplish only half of what it had been made to do. After two years of what was perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to the water bearer one day by the stream. " I am ashamed of myself because this crack in my side causes water to leak out all the way back house." The bearer said to the pot, "Did you noticed that they are roses on your side of the path, but not on the other pot's side. ? That because I have always known about your flaw, so I planted flower seeds on your side of the pot and everyday while we walk back, you water them. For two years I have been able to pick these beautiful roses to decorate the table. Without your being just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to grace the house."

Each of us has our own unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that make our lives together so interesting and rewarding. You've just got to take people for what they are and look for the good in them. Have a great day of reading this thought and remember to smell the roses :):) GOD BLESS


~ I've learned that no matter what happens, how bad it seems today, life does go on, and it will be better tomorrow.

~I've learned that regardless of your relationship with your parents, you'll miss them when they're gone from your life.

~I've learned that making a "living" is not the same thing as making a "life".

~ I've learned that you shouldn't go through life with a catcher's mitt on both hands. You need to be able to throw something back.

~I've learned that whenever I decide something with an open heart, I usually make the right decision.

~I've learned that even when I have pains, I don't have to be one.

~I've learned that every day you should reach out and touch someone. People love a warm hug or just a friendly pat on the back.

~I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.

~And I've learned that I still have a lot to learn.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

baking time for mandel bread

it was a new day, a new discovery hehehe.... lets find out what i discovered ..LOL, like invention or new baking habit. Actually i love cooking, i love to be in the kitchen all the time and discover new things, i used to read recipe books and copy a simple recipe. I used to start a simple recipe yong kaya ng bulsa

Sarah(my elderly employer) thought me how to make mandelbread recipe and i want to give you a small background of this recipe. I called it "sarah's mandel bread"

Mandel bread, or mandelbrot, is a traditional Jewish cookie that is slightly softer than biscotti. These treats can be enjoyed with a cup of coffee like biscotti, or as a child's treat to be enjoyed with milk while playing a game of dreidel during Hanukkah. No matter the occasion, mandel bread is always a good choice for a snack.


1 pound of self raising flour
250 grams of margarine
4 oz of white sugar
4 large egss
1 teaspon almond syrup
half glass almond nuts cut into pieces

Here's how

1. Mix the sugar and the margarine in a magi mix mixing bowl.

2. Add the 4 eggs and the 1 teaspoon almond syrup. Just make sure that everything is mix properly.

3. Add or pour slowly the 1 pound of self raising flour into the working magi mix machine. Mix properly until the the dough is crumbly.

4. Put the dough into the mixing bowl and cover and let it stay in the the freezer for about 10-15mins. I usuall put it in the freeze only fo overnight.

5. Split the dough into 4 parts and roll each piece into a log that's 8-10 inches wide and 2 inches thick or depends on you. Place logs on an ungreased baking sheet and bake for 30 minutes in an oven preheated 350 degrees F.

6. Loosen the logs with a metal spatula onto a cutting board. Allow the logs to cool for 5 minutes, then cut them into 1/2 inch slices.

7.Place the mandel bread pieces back on the sheet and bake for 10 more minutes with a low degrees. The mandel bread should still be somewhat soft when removed from the oven a second time.

8. Dust your cookies with powdered sugar or top them with jam before serving. Mandel bread also is good served alone. But I didn't do it.:):) I served it only as a cookies.

result of first baking, still soft.. you have to
put it back to the oven for 10 minutes or until it's a bit harder.

my collection of quotes

True Friends Are Gifts,n0t easily gained.Its ro0ts fr0m one's HEART & involves memories dat stay...Not for a m0ments,n0t for a day but 4Ever.

[Behind ur smiles,i knw der r sorr0ws;
Bhind ur laughters
i knw der r tears; but i want u 2 know that behind Y (",)U der 's always ME..gudnyt!

If u hide,I'll seek u
If ur lost,I'll search 4u
If u leave,I'll wait 4 u
If they take u away from me,I'll fight 4u,coz ur s0m1 special,my DEAR.
Thank you!

I wish one day,u'll miss me terribly that no matter how hard u l0ok 4 me u w0nt find me.Why? coz i want you 2 miss me the way im missing u right now! Takecare

Not all people who pass by ur life are meant 4u.S0me are 4 fun,others are 4 tears and most of them are just passing by...Me,passing by? N0, i'll stay as long as u want me,gud P.M!

Have a heart that never hardens,a temper that never rises,a touch that never hurts and a love that never dieas.G0D has all of this 4u...

As we live each day may we do our part 2 make 1 difference..2 touch 1 heart and through each day may it be our goal 2 encourage 1 mind and inspire 1 soul.

God said...Trials r not reasons 2 give up but a challenge 2 improve our lives.Its not an excuse 2 back out but an inspiration to move 4ward and grow.

F u nid a helpen hand il give u mine, F u want sum1 2 b with il guide through.And if by chance u have been busy & 4goten me dont wori id be the same as how uv meet me yesterday.

If friends were flowers,surely i wud not pick you! Id let u grow in d garden and cultivate u wid LOVE & CARE so i can kip u 4ever my friend.

Night is over,new morning is here! I greet u Good Morning and i hope that ur day will b filled w/God's Blessings!

Success is getting what u want, happiness is wanting wat u get,where der is no concern in d heart der comes no music from the SOUL.

Today i learned that what is valuable is not what i have in my life but who i have in my life...THANKS for being a part of it.

When a greeting is sent from a distance.U can hear d wishes,u cant see d smiles but u can sense the care that truly comes from the HEART!!!
Early 2 bed,early 2 rise makes a man healthy and wise..

Life is full of roads as we travel on.Some we try 2 4get and some we wish we never passed.But there's 1 road i dont regret passing its were we became FRIENDS..

A friend is a gift wen its new,its a miracle wen it is true but u know what?Its a blessing wen its YOU! God bless...

When u find a dream in ur heart,do not let it go.For dreams are tiny seeds from which beautiful tomorrows grow.Let G0D carry u thru.

When people look at us they say u have a pleasing personality,sweet disposition,& magical face.You know why? Bcoz as friends,what i have is yours.

Whenever life takes me,no matter wat path i take even if i meet new friends bear in mind u'l never loose ur place in my heart coz ders only 1 special friend in life.

It hurt to realize dat d people u thought u'd love 4 life dat love u as much u thought they did and can do w/o as if they never knew you at all.

When u came 2 b my friend i told myself dat ur so lucky 2 have me but u know what?Im luckier coz evry1 can have me but not evry1 gets the chance 2 have you.

S0meday u'l 4get d closeness we have, u'l 4get d joke we have shared,u'l mit some1 who can get along w/u more than i can but i hope that u'l never 4get me..friend

Time may stop,days mybe over,months may go,years may pass,world may END but 1 thing will surely remain we became friends.

It was unfair dat the world gave me so many reasons 2 hate but how can i hate such a wonderful world wen it give me a chance to know a wondrful person like you.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

ladies single champion

I thought Venus William will get the tittle but it was reverse .. Venus is looks athletic than her sister, looks feminine. Serena Williams, 27 years won the tittle as Women Singles Champion at Wimbledon. It is a world tournament. It's not the money they are playing, it's a pride. They are already a multi-millionare..CONGRATULATIONS , SERENA WILLIAMS... I am looking forward for the men's single final tomorrow...

the ladies single final preview at wimbledon

You would imagine that Palm Beach Gardens, Florida, home of the Williams sisters, is celebrating now. Another publicity boost for the old town. That sort of thing. Apparently not. They take the ongoing brilliance of Venus and Serena quite calmly, it seems.

And the two women accept it because, as Venus points out, the United States is a big place where they have lots of stars in a multitude of sports. It seems that Venus and Serena are a bigger item here at Wimbledon than they are in Palm Beach Gardens.

Richard Williams, their father and coach, announced after their respective semi-final victories on Friday that he was heading home "to cut the grass" rather than watch his daughters do battle with each other. He never watches them play each other, he says, never has done and never will. Since this will be their 21st meeting at professional level, Richard's grass must be extremely well tended.

The grass on Centre Court is beginning to look a mite bare and scorched after the weather we have basked in for the past two weeks, but it will no doubt bear up for the bashing it will receive from the best pair in women's tennis as, once again, they go about disputing the destination of the Venus Rosewater Dish in the 123rd Championships, appropriately on the Fourth of July, America's Independence Day.

Speaking of fourths, this will be the fourth time the two have met in the Wimbledon final, and is a repeat of the 2008 occasion, when Venus won in straight sets. Serena won the other two, back to back in 2002 and 2003 and she is muttering that is about time she won Wimbledon again. She has generally had the edge when it comes to Grand Slam finals against her older sister.

Five of Venus' six defeats in the finals of majors have come at the hands of Serena, taking in the whole of the Grand Slam scene, the others being one in New York, one in Paris and one in Melbourne.

So dominant have they been at Wimbledon that only one women's final in this new century has not included at least one Williams. That was in 2006, when Amelie Mauresmo beat Justine Henin. Both will be playing their 14th Grand Slam final, Serena's won-lost record being 10-3 and that of Venus a more modest 7-6.

As usual, they have been sharing a house near the All England Club's grounds and acting in the sisterly fashion they insist is their habit, though they tend not to share the same courtesy car to bring them to their date with destiny.

'Venus is running like a deer right now, and Serena is hitting the ball as hard as a man'

Each woman has won 10 of their 20 matches, what Serena calls "super intense". Asked whether they didn't sometimes tire of facing each other, Serena insisted: "The more we play the better it gets. This one here is for everything. This is what we dreamed of when we were growing up in Compton 20-something years ago. This is what we worked for, and this is what we want."

Serena feels, quite rightly, that Venus is playing the best tennis of this year's Championships. She has not dropped a set, has lost just 19 games in six matches and has spent only six and a half hours on court. Serena, thanks to that marathon semi-final against Elena Dementieva, has a court time almost two hours longer, in which she has lost one set.

The record of Venus, a five-time champion of Wimbledon like Roger Federer, shows how her game and the courts of London SW19 complement each other. She has now won 34 successive completed sets and has not conceded a set since the third round of the 2007 Championships.

Though the two of them are thoroughly schooled in diplomacy when it comes to talking about the other, Venus emphasises the tremendous respect she has for her younger sibling (27 years of age, as opposed to 29): "Even if [Serena] is not playing her best, it is just that fight she has. There's so much to face when you play her. It's definitely a lot to get your mind around. We both play such a similar game. After all, we had the same teacher [their father]. But what is especially the same is the respect that we have for each other on and off the court."

Venus concedes that a Grand Slam final against her sister is different from that against any other opponent. "It is different because I'm happy for her to be in the final, but I have to face her and defeat her. I don't necessarily want her to lose, but for sure I want me to win.

“I don't ever like to see her disappointed in any way but, at the same time, I don't want to see myself disappointed. I need to get my titles, too. But I definitely want to play her in Grand Slam finals like this because the dream has come true for both of us, and for our family, too."

Before taking himself off to attend to that lawn of his, Richard Williams declined to forecast this afternoon's winner, confining himself to these descriptions of his daughters. "Venus is running like a deer right now, and Serena is hitting the ball as hard as a man."

There are some who feel that yet another all-Williams Wimbledon final is becoming rather repetitious, but the best players tend to come out on top, and these two are the best in the women's game, and have been for quite a few years now. Challengers have come and gone, but the Palm Beach Gardens girls motor on. It's a shame that they aren't making a bit more of it back there in Florida.

the match today

we will wait who will win the match between two sisters, venus and serena williams..
For me it is not a challenging match, whoever wins it doesn't matter. But I bit Venus will get the gandslam of the Wimbledon Women Singles Championship..

yesterday tennis result

I'm really sorry, this result is not updated. It was upsetting result co'z I want Andy Murray win but he was knocked out. If he got it it is a big break for Great Britain , since 1938 they never have the grandslam record. But anyway, Andy is just 22 years old and he will have a lot of years to go into the grandslam

Semifinals: Andy Roddick (6) def Andy Murray (3)
6-4 4-6 7-6 7-6

Semifinals: Roger Federer (2) def Tommy Haas (24)
7-6 7-5 6-3
Semifinals: Venus Williams (3) def Dinara Safina (1)
6-1 6-0

a tennis addict

I am not a lover of sports but suddenly it came to realize when I started watching the match of tennis held at France I enjoyed it very much, the players are fantastic. Now, since the Wimbledon open the tennis tournament a week ago, I became a tennis addict. There isn't a filipino player but Roger Federrer is my favorite player. On sunday will be the final of the men's competition and Roger Federrer will be my player. Hopefully he will get the grandslam, but if not who ever wins now the simi-final between Any Murray and Andy Roddick will be fine...

Wednesday, July 1, 2009

The Life of a Breadwinner

I was 13 years old when I left home away from my parents because they can't be able to send me in high school. We are 6 sibling of the family and I am the 2nd to the eldest. A kind hearted family took me to the City, I worked with them as an assistant secretary of their canned/frozen business and I was studying at the same time in the afternoon. After I finished on my first year in high school , my mother asked me a favor to stop schooling because she wanted me to help my elder sister to pay for her tution fees(she was in the private school and I was a wroking student).Because I was pittied to my mother, I stop schooling and since then the family where I worked with give me a monthly salary. They didn't agree with my decesion but they had nothing to do about it. I stopped for a year and help my parents. I used to gave my money to my mother when she came to the City every end of the month. I went back school but I was working as a fish vendor in big market in Bankerohan.(my mother's nephew has a stall). I woke up 4 o'clock in the morning until 12 o'clock in the afternoon co'z I need to be in school at 1 o'clock pm. A lady in the market asked me if I could tutor his 5 yr old son, so she hired me. It was very convenient to me co'z it was very near to my school. But after a few months, a tragedy happened. Her brother got a motor accident and died. She needs to go back to her province to look after her parents business as well as the health of her parents. I had nothing to go at those times. Either to go back in my hometown or just stay their in the City. I prefer to stay in the City and finished my high school there. So, since my sister stayed in the boarding house, I asked my mother if I could stay as well. I stayed there and a few months the nephew of my father asked me so worked with their gambling business. I went out during the middle of the night just to collect the money of their agents. It was a very dangerous job. Somebody could stab or rape me if they find out I have plenty of money in my bag/pocket. Sometimes I hide it somewhere in my lingeries....Anyway, I survived and still alive now. The niece of my father, asked me to stay with themand help her with the business as well(gambling, lending). Since, I was paying the rent in my boarding house and bought my own food. I accepted the offer to save a little bit money and also I am safed. I don't need to go out for the collection. I was with them for about six years more or less... I had to do all household worked and I got only 300PHP for 2 years. But I never complain because they I had free food and a house to stay in. After I finished high school, I thought I couldn't get into collage. Another niece of my father working in an appliance center as a Sales Supervisor, she hired me as her private secretary. To assist all her agents and customer. It was a very good experience to me. So I enrolled collage. Had an afternoon class but I still worked where I stayed. I have to wake up very early in the morning cooked the breakfast and prepare eveything for the children before I went to my secretarial job at 8 0'clock in the morning. Went to school in the afternoon and went home in the evening and soak the laundry. Ang hirap nga noon, wala nman washing machine , so mag handwashed ako. :(:(... I worked hard para lbre lang ako bahay at pagkain. I didn't get any allowances from them after that 2 years. I was working for free because I ate the food, I used water and electricity and I had a bed to sleep.... I cried sometimes, at my young age I experienced such sacrificed because my parents can't afford to send me in school... I worked in a food chain after I left my secretarial job because she was vey ill and she can't reached the sales quota of the company. I enjoyed so much working at the food chain (jollibee, texas chicken, macdonald). Working, studying at the same time doing household work where I stayed was a vey diffficult for me. but still I have patience to survive. Unforunately in the middle of my college studies I had to stop again due to the health of my sister. Her medication was very expensive. I have again to sacrificed my study and after a year my mother got an operation. My father is week of problems and since my mother was ill at those time I should be strong because my sister wasn't well enough... I didn't know where to run for the money. Luckily, my co-crew lent me some money for the operation of my mother.

As my teenage life I couldn't remember that I had a lovely time like any other teenagers. I worked.worked,worked hard for myself and for my family honestly....I finished my degree and right after I found a job but because I want to help my brother and sister to go university/collages, I left my job and went abroad..The time I'm here my first priority is my family. I work here to give them a better is a great happiness to me that they are happy for the money i send to them. a simple thank you that i could hear from them is very flattering...but sometimes I want to give up. How could I chase from it??? Is it really my obligation which the fact I still got a parents. Is it the sense of obligation that cannot be neglected for personal pursuits???? what is it???Do I need to considet them in every decision I make???What about me??? Until when? why me??? why they cannot ask from my other sisters, why I carry the burden all the time??? I don't have an anwer of those question. Is it a right decision to get married and left the responsibility and obligation I have now. Help me G_d...

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