The Life of a Breadwinner

I was 13 years old when I left home away from my parents because they can't be able to send me in high school. We are 6 sibling of the family and I am the 2nd to the eldest. A kind hearted family took me to the City, I worked with them as an assistant secretary of their canned/frozen business and I was studying at the same time in the afternoon. After I finished on my first year in high school , my mother asked me a favor to stop schooling because she wanted me to help my elder sister to pay for her tution fees(she was in the private school and I was a wroking student).Because I was pittied to my mother, I stop schooling and since then the family where I worked with give me a monthly salary. They didn't agree with my decesion but they had nothing to do about it. I stopped for a year and help my parents. I used to gave my money to my mother when she came to the City every end of the month. I went back school but I was working as a fish vendor in big market in Bankerohan.(my mother's nephew has a stall). I woke up 4 o'clock in the morning until 12 o'clock in the afternoon co'z I need to be in school at 1 o'clock pm. A lady in the market asked me if I could tutor his 5 yr old son, so she hired me. It was very convenient to me co'z it was very near to my school. But after a few months, a tragedy happened. Her brother got a motor accident and died. She needs to go back to her province to look after her parents business as well as the health of her parents. I had nothing to go at those times. Either to go back in my hometown or just stay their in the City. I prefer to stay in the City and finished my high school there. So, since my sister stayed in the boarding house, I asked my mother if I could stay as well. I stayed there and a few months the nephew of my father asked me so worked with their gambling business. I went out during the middle of the night just to collect the money of their agents. It was a very dangerous job. Somebody could stab or rape me if they find out I have plenty of money in my bag/pocket. Sometimes I hide it somewhere in my lingeries....Anyway, I survived and still alive now. The niece of my father, asked me to stay with themand help her with the business as well(gambling, lending). Since, I was paying the rent in my boarding house and bought my own food. I accepted the offer to save a little bit money and also I am safed. I don't need to go out for the collection. I was with them for about six years more or less... I had to do all household worked and I got only 300PHP for 2 years. But I never complain because they I had free food and a house to stay in. After I finished high school, I thought I couldn't get into collage. Another niece of my father working in an appliance center as a Sales Supervisor, she hired me as her private secretary. To assist all her agents and customer. It was a very good experience to me. So I enrolled collage. Had an afternoon class but I still worked where I stayed. I have to wake up very early in the morning cooked the breakfast and prepare eveything for the children before I went to my secretarial job at 8 0'clock in the morning. Went to school in the afternoon and went home in the evening and soak the laundry. Ang hirap nga noon, wala nman washing machine , so mag handwashed ako. :(:(... I worked hard para lbre lang ako bahay at pagkain. I didn't get any allowances from them after that 2 years. I was working for free because I ate the food, I used water and electricity and I had a bed to sleep.... I cried sometimes, at my young age I experienced such sacrificed because my parents can't afford to send me in school... I worked in a food chain after I left my secretarial job because she was vey ill and she can't reached the sales quota of the company. I enjoyed so much working at the food chain (jollibee, texas chicken, macdonald). Working, studying at the same time doing household work where I stayed was a vey diffficult for me. but still I have patience to survive. Unforunately in the middle of my college studies I had to stop again due to the health of my sister. Her medication was very expensive. I have again to sacrificed my study and after a year my mother got an operation. My father is week of problems and since my mother was ill at those time I should be strong because my sister wasn't well enough... I didn't know where to run for the money. Luckily, my co-crew lent me some money for the operation of my mother.

As my teenage life I couldn't remember that I had a lovely time like any other teenagers. I worked.worked,worked hard for myself and for my family honestly....I finished my degree and right after I found a job but because I want to help my brother and sister to go university/collages, I left my job and went abroad..The time I'm here my first priority is my family. I work here to give them a better life..it is a great happiness to me that they are happy for the money i send to them. a simple thank you that i could hear from them is very flattering...but sometimes I want to give up. How could I chase from it??? Is it really my obligation which the fact I still got a parents. Is it the sense of obligation that cannot be neglected for personal pursuits???? what is it???Do I need to considet them in every decision I make???What about me??? Until when? why me??? why they cannot ask from my other sisters, why I carry the burden all the time??? I don't have an anwer of those question. Is it a right decision to get married and left the responsibility and obligation I have now. Help me G_d...

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