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yesterday, i was setting alone in the balcony while watching the halestorm outside drops from above.. Thanks GOD, Israel needs rain badly. It was a stormy weather, like the storm I’ve been through in my life. I don’t want to look back the past experiences in my life but yesterday while setting and watching the waves of the sea, I remembered this words from a friend of mine
(bakakon baya na siya in English means she is a liar?) Upsetting, isn’t it? Even she told it to me personally and even I knew once in my life I did lied. What is a sad things? Nadinig ko uli , she did say it again to another friend of ours that I’m a liar. I’ll just keep quiet then.. and I asked myself. Where I liead? Whose those people that I lied??? Am I a liar?? Ok!!! I’ll say that I did it before for a big reason.I lied myself, my family , and my friends. But that lies thought me a lesson. I became strong and a better person, much better than I was. Mabait ako kahit noon pa!!! I learned from it and I promise to myself never to do it anymore. NEVER, NEVER, NEVER!!!
I gain back the trust of my family and some of my friends who believe that I was just a victim of circumtances. I was just an innocent girl, and can be persuaded. I was so lucky to correct those mistakes. Not to late to be, Thata again :):):),to walk in a crowd of people with head on the top, and chin up because all I knew I never lied myself anymore.
I thank those friends around me, who helped and believed me to overcome the pain and the heartaches I felt before. It’s a very wonderful feelig being honest and true to myself. Walang tinatago, walang sekreto sa buhay. But I need to hide hahaha!!!!TNT just kidding!
LIES Is ALWAYS BE A LIES IF YOU DON’T KNOW HOW TO CORRECT IT.. AND LIVING WITH LIES IS LIKE A HELL!!!
When I woke up this morning, it came up to my mind what if I will post my naked face here? ..LOL... make up free face.. no lipstick, no foundation not even considering a pressed powder. I know the idea makes me sick because I'm not used to post photos of myself without wearing any make ups (smile) but I guess there is something about it that makes me feel free and liberating. And I figure it out that this is another step in my quest in learning to love the bits of myself that I consider to be imperfect, instead of admiring it as being lovely.
Posting this photo took me a lot of courage, and when I look at it I humbly say It's not bad I think hahaha!!! so scary to see my face without make ups. Its a fresh look, just got up from bed when I took this photo. I noticed that my right eye is smaller than my left eye. I like my lips, even without lipstick hehehe....but I look like my age LOL...I do feel much more insecure without wearing make ups or doing my hair though I don't wear a huge amount of make up on a daily basis. Usually I used only pressed powder and a bit of lips shiner. But it's nice to know that I can look myself in the mirror without wearing make ups,. I guess that's the most important thing although we are all prettier when we wear a bit of make ups on a daily basis. I know there are certain things I have to cover in order to look like a decent human being.( ^_^). I posted some photo of my self with make ups to a certain place I go.
on daily basis
when I go to church
went to parties, discos or dinner..
Wearing make ups will depend to the clothes and the fashion I'm wearing... It looks very different when I wear make ups and gain me a lot more of self confidence..
Its unusual for me, to change what exactly what I want then have a second thoughts. Feeling confident and have positive attitude then down to feeling insecure and embarrassed. Between feeling strong and brave and then frightened and afraid. Feeling accomplished of some things but then suddenly I don't appreciate it. I'd say I'm happy but I'm a bit confused. And now I don't know what I gonna do.
I am always tired, my body is aching though I made some a lot of walking lately to relax and breath. It's odd because I always thinking what's gonna be my life? wild imagination came up, mixed feelings that I don't understand that I find it difficult to get sleep at night. ^-^(sigh)
It's difficult for me, because I don't have an outlet of this feelings.I don't have friends nearer me, my family, my boyfriend is too far. I cannot wander around in town due to my situation (illegal). Lucky, I live in a wonderful place in front of the sea and I could go to the beach for a walk, and feel the breeze. Within my silence and contemplating myself from the past, I think I've grown enough.I've grown as a young cultured lady. I found my self to appreciate those things and be proud what I've accomplished.
But is that enough what we called life? What should I do with my life? It's so sad and frustrating when I think I leave my wonderful job , that I called it was a career. I'm wasting time doing things isn't my passion though rewarding. I hate this thoughts and I hope this feelings will certainly passes by and follow what my heart desire.
I guess it's a normal feelings when you want to settle your life for a new direction. A direction that I never know what will be. It's like I'm looking in every direction knowing where I needed to end up but simply not knowing which way to take to get there. What if I fail?
To be honest I am frightened and apprehensive. I asked my self if I am ready to take this responsibility for a lifetime? To give up my freedom which I had it since I was thirteen. On the other hand, I want a family of my own. To sit by the beach together with my children and husband. I want love and passion. hehehe!!!
I am sure these feeling will passes by. These are just things that have been occupying my thoughts lately and feel good to have it posted. Anyway, thanks for reading it :)
You have an energetic approach to life and a frank and direct approach to others. You can show a great deal of courage and a willingness to plunge into anything without too much hesitation. However, sometimes giving things a little thought before you rush headlong into action would be in order. Being so impulsive, you can also occasionally be blind to the needs and feelings of others.
Habits
You have a need for material security. This doesn't necessarily mean a materialistic attitude it's just that you need to have your financial affairs under control in order to feel secure. You'll more than likely have a strong sense of values, possibly inherited from your mother, and are faithful and steady in your emotions. However, once you make up your mind on an emotional issue, you rarely change it. Carried to extremes this can lead to possessiveness, and a stubborn refusal to change or go against your values, even if they are no longer relevant to your life.
Self-identity
You have powerful feelings, sympathy and compassion. Family matters will also be of paramount importance to you.
Mentality
Your communications with others will be fiery, impulsive and at times rather impetuous. You'll pick up quickly on ideas and can express yourself energetically and forcefully, but perhaps too forcefully at times. Nevertheless, if this impulsiveness can be controlled, your mind will be sharp and penetrating with the ability to communicate directly with a minimum of waffle.
However, you may need to develop a more objective attitude towards your opinions. That's because you do occasionally have a tendency to identify too strongly with your own thoughts and ideas, regarding a challenge to them as a direct challenge to yourself.
Capacity for love
You have a loyal and steady approach to relationships. You'll want to feel stable and secure and will be happy to reciprocate these needs to your partner. Although at times you can appear quite reserved, this masks a deep and passionate nature. You can be strongly jealous of any situation or person that you feel is a threat to your emotional security.
Driving force
Your emotions will influence the more aggressive side of your character. Your feelings are easily hurt and because of this you may avoid openly expressing your own anger out of fear of causing emotional pain to other people.
However, at times, this will work to your detriment as keeping quiet about your inner feelings and grievances could cause inner tension, when a good healthy outburst may be the best way to get things off your chest and clear the air.
You are motivated mainly by what you feel and need a secure home base from which you can operate. With this part of your life secure, you have the emotional and physical strength to achieve whatever you set your heart on.
I took this quiz just for fun but I felt strange after I read the answer!
This the question:
You are walking in the woods. Who are you walking with?
You see an animal. What kind of animal is it?
What interaction takes place between you and the animal?
You walk deeper into the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your dream house. Describe its size.
Is your dream house surrounded by a fence?
You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. Describe what you see "on" and "around" the table.
You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. What material is the cup made of?
What do you do with the cup?
You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a body of water. What type of body of water is is it?
How will you cross the water?
The answers given to the questions have been shown to have a relevance to values and ideals that we hold in our personal lives. The analysis follows:
1. You are walking in the woods with sister. sister is the most important person in your life.
2. You see a bird. The size of the animal is representative of your perception of the size of your problems.
3. You smile with the animal? The severity of the interaction you have with the animal is representative of how you deal with your problems. (passively/aggressively)
4. You walk deeper in the woods. You enter a clearing and before you is your Dream House. It is simple but lovely. The size of your dream house is representative of the size of your ambition to resolve your problems.
5. Is your dream house surrounded by a fence? You answered yes. No fence is indicative of an open personality. People are welcome at all times. The presence of a fence indicates a closed personality. You'd prefer people not to drop by unannounced.
6. You enter the house. You walk to the dining area and see the dining table. table mat with prepare for the meals are on and around the table. If your answer did not include food, people, or flowers, then you are generally unhappy.
7. You exit the house through the back door. Lying in the grass is a cup. The cup is made of porcelain. The durability of the material with which the cup is made of is representative of the perceived durability of your relationship with sister. For example, styrafoam, plastic, and paper are all disposable, styrofoam, paper and glass are not durable, and metal and plastic are durable.
8. You pick it up. Your disposition of the cup is representative of your attitude towards sister.
9. You walk to the edge of the property, where you find yourself standing at the edge of a river. The size of the body of water is representative of the size of your sexual desire.
10. You cross the river by bridge. How wet you get in crossing the water is indicative of the relative importance of your sex life.
