Saturday, April 3, 2010

13 comments Saturday, April 03, 2010

on life as a breadwinner

Posted by charmie - Filed under ,
I was 13 years old when I left home away from my parents because they could not afford to send me to high school. We are 6 siblings of the family and I am the second child. A kind hearted family took me to the City, I worked with them as an assistant secretary for their canned/frozen business and I was studying at the same time in the afternoon. 

When I finished on my first year in high school , my mother asked me a favor to stop schooling because she wanted me to help my elder sister to pay for her tuition fees(she was in the private school and I was a working student. Because I pitied for my mother, so, I stopped schooling and since then the family where I worked with gave me a monthly salary. Actually, they didn’t agree with my decision but they cannot do anything about it. I stopped for a year and helped my parents. I used to give my money to my mother when she came to the City every end of the month. Then, I went back to school but I was working as a fish vendor in a big supermarket in Bankerohan. (My mother’s nephew has a stall). I woke up 4 o’clock in the morning until 12 o’clock in the afternoon because I need to be in school at 1 o’clock PM. A lady in the market asked me if I could tutor her 5 yrs old son, so she hired me. It was very convenient to me too because it was nearby my school. However after a few months, a tragedy happened. Her brother got a motor accident and died. She needs to go back to her province to look after her parents business as well as the health of her parents. I have nowhere to go at those times. Either to go back in my hometown or just stay there in the City. I preferred to stay in the City and finish my high school there. 

So, since my sister stayed in the boarding house, I asked my mother if I could stay as well. I stayed there and a few months the nephew of my father asked me to work with their gambling business. I went out in the middle of the night just to collect the money of their agents. It was a very dangerous job. Somebody could stab or rape me if they know that I'm carrying plenty of money. Sometimes I hided it somewhere in my lingerie's….Anyhow, I survived and still alive now. 

One day the niece of my father, asked me to stay with them and help her with the business .  (gambling, lending). Because I was paying the rent of my boarding house and buy my own food. I accepted the offer to save even a little bit of money and also for my safety.  I don’t need to go out for collection anymore. I was with them for about six years more or less… I had to do all household work and I got only 300PHP for 2 years. Nevertheless I never complaint because I’m free; free food and a house to stay in. When I finished high school, I thought I couldn’t get into collage. Another niece of my father worked in an appliance center as a Sale Supervisor; she hired me as her private secretary, to assist all her agents and customer. It was a very good experienced at my young age. I got an opportunity to enrolled collage, had afternoon class but I still work where I stayed. I have to wake up very early in the morning; cook the breakfast and prepare everything for the children before I go to my secretarial job at 8 0'Clock in the morning.  Go to school in the afternoon and went home in the evening and soak the laundry. Ang hirap nga noon, wala nman washing machine , so mag handwashed ako. I worked hard para libre lang ako bahay at pagkain. I didn’t get any allowances from them after those 2 years. I was working for free because I ate the food, I used water and electricity and I had a bed to sleep…. I cried sometimes, at my young age I experienced such sacrificed because my parents cannot afford to send me in school…
I worked in a food chain after I left my secretarial job because she was very ill and she can’t reach the sales quota of the company. I enjoyed so much working at the food chain (Jollibee, Texas chicken, MacDonald). Working, studying at the same time doing household work where I stayed. It was really difficult. But I have patience to survive. Unfortunately in the middle of my college studies I had to stop again due to the health of my sister. Her medication was very expensive. I have again to sacrifice my study and after a year my mother got an operation. My father is weak of problems and since my mother was ill at those times I should be strong because my sister wasn’t well enough… I didn’t know where to run for the money. Luckily, my co-crew lent me some money for the operation of my mother.

As my teenage life, I couldn’t remember that I had a lovely time like any other teenagers. I worked hard for myself and for my family honestly….I finished my degree and right after I found a job but because I want to help my brother and sister to go university/collages, I left my job and went abroad..The time I’m here my first priority is my family. I work here to give them a better life..It is a great happiness to me that they are happy for the money send to them. A simple thank you that I could hear from them is very flattering…but sometimes I want to give up. How could I chase from it??? Is it really my obligation which the fact I still got a parent. Is it really the sense of obligation that cannot be neglected for personal pursuits???? What is it???Do I need to consider them in every decision I make???What about me??? Until when? Why me??? Why they cannot ask from my other sisters, why I carry the burden all the time??? I don’t have an answer of those questions. Is it a right decision to get married and left the responsibility and obligation I have now? Help me God…

13 comments:

ME said...

Very encouraging story sis..God Bless You Always... I know how hard to be a bread winner.. Sometimes you have to give up your own happiness for the family.. But dont worry God See everything..

issa said...

thanks ME, I just can't stop not to post it here..

Lizeewong said...

You are one strong woman. I really admire your strength and perseverance. I hope you get your own happiness in time and I wish you all the best.

chubskulit said...

Ang hirap talaga pag mahirap ano but because of our determination, we;ve reach our goal. asks the same question myself too sis but I can't let my responsiblity hinder my ow happiness. I have to give myself a chANCE to have a life of my own. I still my family but there's a limit to it, the family I have now is my priority. If your family loves you, they will understand if in case you decide to get marry and limit your help to them. You have to give yourself a chance to be happy too. You won't be staying young forever so while you have a chance enjoy it.

charmie said...

Tama ka sis! Thanks for your wonderful advice..

Vernz said...

Cge lang Charm, di man gud pud ka katan-aw ra sa ila di ba?... Pero ana man culturang pinoy... one of these days... with conviction! you will have your chance ... Believe an it will happen... o eninglis to ha... heheheh....

mine is at On This Side of Town

tatess said...

yang kahirapan natin ang nagturo sa atin para magsikap at lumaban sa buhay

RyHeAnNe said...

Naku Ateh mas nakakaiyak tong post. I am very touched as in, you are too strong parang same kau ng pinagdaanan ni Ate Rose ngwork in early age. Ako ngwork din kaso summer lng ung SPES ba un. Mahiyain kc ako eh kaya hindi pwede mgtinda... Kung ako cguro baka naglupasay na lng ako sa iyak...weakling ako eh. I always feel rejected kc mahirap talga kapag lumaking ka na laging binubully tapos lagi palo...feeling ko me against the world. You deserved all the happiness you have right now. Same tau ng goal sa life, help our family. Mahirap kc ung lagi kaung inaapi na hindi mo naman alam ang mabigat na dahilan. Hehe, OA ko.

Followed you too :)

kat said...

murag silingan ra ta ug life Charmz, wa pod ko midako sa ako parents kay di ako kayang paaralin...tiyahin ko ang nag paeskwela sa akoa until high school...sa college, sarili ko ng kayud...gilabay ko sa akong inahan sa Maynila mao ng didto ko midako ug natigulang waaaaaaaaa pero okay lang man sa akoa charm kay what if wa ko gipadala sa maynila, siguro wa koy grado ron...

prayer lang and da best na weapon to fight all the troubles in life.

Bambie dear ★ said...

I actually don't know what to say. While reading your story, ang dami ko narealized at ang dami ko pa pala dapat ipagpasalamat. Bilib ako sa yo dahil napaka matulungin mo, at super tyaga. At young age, ang dami mo na naranasan. Inspirational itong story mo pero naiintindihan ko din ang nararamdaman mo ngayon. Marami ka kapareho na sinasacrifice ang sariling kaligayahan para sa mga magulang pero pwedi naman huwag isakripisyo ang kaligayan at tumulong at the same time diba. Basta, love yourself din. Isipin mo din ang makakapagpaligaya sa yo, im sure gusto din ng mga magulang mo lumigaya ka pero syempre hanggat maaari, huwag ka makalimot. Love yourself and always pray for more strength

Yami said...

Ang hirap pala ng pinagdaanan mo sis. Imagine at a very young age naranasan mo ang magtrabaho. don't worry sis you will be rewarded for all the handwork that you do for your family.

David said...

Your story is inspiring. I do have some shares of struggles but yours are harder.

It is okay to help but leave something for yourself. It is hard pero kailangan mo rin magtira para sa sarili mo.

I have been there. I devoted few years of my life for my family I worked almost 16 hours a day 7 days a week. I cried bucket of tears when I can't find the money for everybody's need but God is good now I am no longer obliged to send help to my family as everybody is working now.

I wish you well. I hope in God's time you will find your own happiness.

Lulu (in hubby's acct)

Dhemz said...

oh wow! saludo ko sa imong kakugi sis...my gosh....proud jud ko sa imo...kabuotan nimo nga sister ug anak...sana pretty soon, sarili mo naman ang isipin mo...hehehe....:)

btw, kelan pala uwi mo sa pinas...sama ako...lol!

sis apil sa akong contest ha!