Monday, February 16, 2009

Is this real, or is this me???

My cousin told me last night that I’ve changed my whole aura completely, not what I was (a charming girl) but what I am now (not for the better)that was she say’s.
Ive noticed it a few months ago, and Ive been thinking a lot about it. I know that I consistently tend to over think things(secretly) and still this is one subject on my mind. maybe it has something to do with my age, my maturity stage.??? Do I really accepted it???
Being appreciated and admired is a wonderful feeling. The more people admire you ,the more you wanted to make changed.
I always wanted the same way as I am because its easy to be completely realbut there are moments that I am not being honest, I am not representing myself as accurately as I could, As accurately as I should. Maybe because the environment Im in. I have to level myself with the people I get along with.
Probably as I mentioned ealier , it has something to do with my age. Does it make sense?Not really, isn’t it? Everybody gets older.And one thing I am quitely sure also it has something to do with my work. I was exhausted, I cannot go out, I cannot unwind myself even I wanted too. It seems I am like a prisoner. I can go out from one place to another. Stupid job, but I don’t have a choice. So. how could I wear make-ups, etcc…
I know also that I am comforable with my own, I like being able to look as I truly am and appreaciate it. I am very unconfortable when I’m wearing something which aren’t suitable to the place and to the people I’m going with. I am happy enough with jeans, blouse or t-shirt(daily basis).
At this point, I know that I am not neglecting myself. I’m not the same as before but I still take care of myself. I definitely dress well if I am going to the party, bars,dancing etc..For a while, I am completely fine..
Thank you cousin and I wish one day I could go out and unwind myself. I WANT LIFE……I WANT A GLASS OF WINE , I WANT DANCING ETCCCC….I missed so much those days.

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