Monday, February 16, 2009

Is this real, or is this me???

My cousin told me last night that I’ve changed my whole aura completely, not what I was (a charming girl) but what I am now (not for the better)that was she say’s.
Ive noticed it a few months ago, and Ive been thinking a lot about it. I know that I consistently tend to over think things(secretly) and still this is one subject on my mind. maybe it has something to do with my age, my maturity stage.??? Do I really accepted it???
Being appreciated and admired is a wonderful feeling. The more people admire you ,the more you wanted to make changed.
I always wanted the same way as I am because its easy to be completely realbut there are moments that I am not being honest, I am not representing myself as accurately as I could, As accurately as I should. Maybe because the environment Im in. I have to level myself with the people I get along with.
Probably as I mentioned ealier , it has something to do with my age. Does it make sense?Not really, isn’t it? Everybody gets older.And one thing I am quitely sure also it has something to do with my work. I was exhausted, I cannot go out, I cannot unwind myself even I wanted too. It seems I am like a prisoner. I can go out from one place to another. Stupid job, but I don’t have a choice. So. how could I wear make-ups, etcc…
I know also that I am comforable with my own, I like being able to look as I truly am and appreaciate it. I am very unconfortable when I’m wearing something which aren’t suitable to the place and to the people I’m going with. I am happy enough with jeans, blouse or t-shirt(daily basis).
At this point, I know that I am not neglecting myself. I’m not the same as before but I still take care of myself. I definitely dress well if I am going to the party, bars,dancing etc..For a while, I am completely fine..
Thank you cousin and I wish one day I could go out and unwind myself. I WANT LIFE……I WANT A GLASS OF WINE , I WANT DANCING ETCCCC….I missed so much those days.

Monday, February 2, 2009

My First Adventure

I came here in Israel 6 years ago, everything was first....First country, language, people, work... and my first adventure...

Wasn't very easy for me,and most of the people didn't know how to speak English and I don't know how to speak their language either... Once I rode a taxi and the driver dropped me to the place which I didn't know. I told him "this is not the place" and driver replied me in sign language which means"he didn't understad what I meant to say" I cried :( what can I do??? I dont have enough money to ask for another taxi.. So, I walked on the street untill I found out the main street that familiar to me. It took me one hour walking before I saw the place where I supposed to go home....

Three months later, I started learning to speak basic Hebrew :):):) ...It helps me to communicate to people even it wasn't a corrent grammar. hehehe... Kahit ako mismo natatawa sa Hebrew ko minsan di ko nga maiintindihan...I ashamed of myself but honestly I am not interested more than they expect from me... But I tried my best to learn kasi sabi nila I have to learn. It's for my own benifits.... Now, I could speak and understand Hebrew but I cannot read.. I can understand and speak well rather than those English Jewish who lived the country more than 30 years,,,well, honestly they are old enough to learn the language. hehehe:):):)

A piece of Something


Since i was in high school, i was fond of collecting quatation from books, magazine, articles or even vandals at walls, tables, and chairs. For me every line of those sentences contains truth that we realize. Like a puzzle it takes one time to put into pieces as one, until i came up with this whole picture of what those people are trying to say together. While i was walking, i stop for a while and thought of the things i dont have . Then, i realized that the happeist of all the people dont necessarily have the best of everything that comes along their way. Its true that we dont know what we've missing until it arrives. In the gateway of my heart, i put a sign that says "NO TRESSPASSING" but love came laughing and said " i enter everywhere, LOVE knows no reason,;LOVE knows no lies;LOVE defies all reason; LOVE has no eyes... its blind but can sees but it doesnt mind. LOVE is when you take the feeling, the passion, the romance and you fined out, you still care for that person. LOVE is suppossed to be the most wonderful feelings that givr you joy, strength and happiness but sometimes those things could also hurt you in the end. It start with a smile, develop with a kiss and ends with a tear.When you love you must not expect anything in return. If you do, you're not loving but investigating. You must to prepare to accept pain, for if you accept happiness you're not loving but using. Dont go for looks it an decieve and dont go for wealth even that fades away. Go for someone that makes a smile for you and seems bright.The beginning of love is to let those we love perfectly themselves and not to twist them to fit our own image otherwise we love only the reflection of ourselves we find them.. never try to impress someone to make her/him fall in love with you, because when you do, you'll have to keep the standard for the rest of your life.A sad thing about life is that when we meet some one who means a lot to you only to find out in the end that it was never bound to bend you just have her/him let go. Maybe G_D wants us to meet few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the right person we should be grateful for the gift. We oftentimes dont see why we dont always get what we want but in the end of it all we realized that what we wanted wasn't meant for us after all. When you feel down because you didnt get what you wanted, just sit tight and be happy because G_D is thinking of something better for you. It hurts to have someone and not be loved in return but what is the most painful is to love someone and never find the courage to let that person knows how you feel. Its always better to have to have found the courage to love even if you lose it in the end rather than never finding love because your to afraid to face its challenge. The greatest regrets in our lives are the risk we didn't take. If you think of something that will make you happy go for it. Remember you pass this way only once..
Love no matter how hard you find you wont see it. No matter how hard you try you wont get it. But when you're about to give up , it comes . Sometimes the love we are looking for is right in front of us. Too close for the eyes to see . So, close your eyes and let your eyes and let your heart seeitself. There are things you love to hear but you can never hear it from a person who says it with his heart . Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want but doesn't mean they dont love you with all they have. hmmmm TRUE????
There are so many stars in the sky, only some are radiant to be noticed. Among those you choose to ignore is the one which is willing to shine for you forever even if you glance remains elsewhere. There are some things that we never want to let of people we never want to leave behind but keep in mind letting go isn't the end of the world. It is the beginning of the new life. The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past. You can't go on well in life until you let go of past failures or heartaches. To let go is not to deny, but to accept. To let go is not to regret the past but to grow and live for the future. To let go is to fearless and to love more.
A heart truly inlove never loses hope but always believe in the promise of love . No matter how long the time and how far the distance never say goodbye when you still you want to try. Never give up when still what you had felt. Never say you dont love the person anymore when you still have the feelings.
THE END.......

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