Tuesday, June 1, 2010

On understanding relationships

In my 32 years of existence in this world I understood that understanding relationships can unlock many doors. It doesn't matter to whom you have a relationship as long you build friendship with them. Without such established relationships it is virtually impossible to emotionally survive as human beings.As we know we are a creatures who crave for warmth love and care, and interactions. Without love and compassion, a persons heart remains cold and unfeeling. We build relationships to feel loved, to feel important, to make ourselves complete. As humans, we all crave a few things in life.; health and the preservation of life; food, sleep, money and the things money can buy, sexual gratification, the well being of our family and offspring, and the feeling of importance. The latter is the key to build the type of relationship that will aid us in the long run.

These is the book I highly recommend by Dale Carnegie. I have read a few pages and I will continue reading it. Its a beautiful book.  The author describes  the essence of relationships --- how to form relationships and friendships with people so that you have a level of influence in decisions pertaining to you. The message is clear: treating others with kindness and respect is a more powerful tool than you can imagine. Giving respect to others will bring you back respect 100% fold.

If  can figure out what is important to a person, what motivates them, you have a pretty good advantage. For instance, in a business meeting, you are meeting someone of high influence for the first time. If you have done your homework you might figure out this person is very family-oriented. Somewhere in your conversation, you might want to interject a question or comment about his family or a family member. The other party wants to hear it and no doubt they will feel good. It is all about establishing a connection with the other party , one way or another. In this case, you are creating a feel good moment, no matter how fleeting the moment lasts. 

I have used these methods myself, and it has served me well. In my own personal relationships, I have found flattery and kindness is the best way to influence others.  I remember Sara told me , that  I must have sense to praise and appreciate things especially in marriage. Sometimes , you have to tell something to your partner on how wonderful they are. Most often if they spend a lot of effort that they did these for you. If you can navigate through all these, you may just discover how powerful and influential these techniques are. Remember; Do unto others what they would do unto you. If you present hate that is what you will receive in return. What you feel , that's what you get. Good relationships cannot survive if there is too much anger and hate. Instead of acting and being hateful, be forgiving and loving.

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